Aan't Duistere Firmament

• Origin and Inspiration

This song was born from one of the most difficult periods in my life. A fractured relationship felt like mourning a death—not of a single person, but of a shared future. It was as though a timeline had been wiped away by a cataclysmic event, leaving behind only the echoes of the future selves we once envisioned. The sense of absence was profound—like looking up at a night sky and realizing there are no more stars to guide you.

• The Evolution: From Psithurism to Ongeloof

This song also represents a key chapter in my journey as a musician. It began during the early days of the Psithurism project, a collaborative effort that sought to evolve into a full band. Back then, the lyrics were written in English, and the song had a very different musical structure. When Psithurism ended, Ongeloof emerged from its remnants as a solo endeavor, with this song serving as the bridge between the two projects. While some of the original riffs remain, the song was entirely rewritten, and the lyrics were reimagined in Dutch—something I had never tried before but which immediately resonated with the project’s vision. This rewrite gave me the opportunity to reflect on the compromises made to fit Psithurism into a specific subgenre. Freeing the song from those constraints taught me invaluable lessons about who I am as a musician. By retaining its core musical themes, I learned the importance of balance in songwriting—staying true to a vision and direction while preserving the personality and emotional depth that define the project. In many ways, this song marks the moment I truly began to understand the identity of Ongeloof, embracing its blend of unrefined emotions and tempestuous energy.

• A Work in Progress

This prototype recording serves as the skeleton of the song. Every recorded layer was added to create a vision of where the song was going, rather than to sound as polished as it could. The elements here are placeholders, with a more refined version planned for the future. I'd also like to be clear on the fact that the drums are programmed in this recording.

• Themes and Lyrics

The lyrics weave a story about the weight of absence, reflecting on the strange, liminal paradox of mourning someone who is still alive. It explores how absence can feel like a death, and how we are left to reconcile the echoes of someone who is no longer there, yet has not truly gone. The imagery of a dark, starless sky and an empty firmament aim to capture this void, emphasizing the feeling of being unmoored and lost in the absence of their light.

Beyond this, the song examines the human tendency to take what we have for granted, neglecting what truly matters as we follow inner demons down darker roads. In this blind pursuit, we often destroy what we hold most dear, only realizing the cost when we are left with ashes and regret. These mistakes stem from self-absorption and a lack of reflection—failing to confront the darkness that dwells within and, in doing so, losing what we should treasure most.

You can find both the original lyrics and an English translation below. I tried to keep the wording and atmosphere of the translation as close to the original as I could, aiming to avoid excessive sacrifices in either regard.

• Closing Thoughts

In many ways, this song is more than just a reflection on loss. It's also a step towards repentance for past mistakes–for acceptance of inner demons, which ultimately leads to their voices being silenced, as we learn to live in a more balanced way.